Friday, April 2, 2010


I'm done. I've had enough.

I want people to stop staring. I want strangers to stop saying things as I walk by. I want coworkers and students to stop saying how big I am and how surprised they are to still see me at work.

I only have 3 days of work left. I'm thinking about driving to work those days, just so I don't have to see as many people. How sad is that? I just want to hide from the world. So they will stop talking.

I can tell you that from now on, I will tell pregnant women "hey, I like your new haircut!" and NOT "OMG, you are bigger than your desk."

By the way, I got about 4 inches of hair cut off. Did anyone notice today? Yes, two people. TWO people. But how many people talked about how big I looked - two DOZEN.

I'm about ready to tell them where to go. It's really beginning to make me angry. It makes me not want to share this amazing experience with anyone. It makes me want to avoid the world until I am back to my normal size and shape - quite honestly, it's too much. And I feel trapped by it.

I just need to get through the next three days of work. THREE days. That's it. And yet, I am dreading them. DREADING them.

I wish I could go into this great transition feeling more confident. I am really disappointed that people are so insensitive that they can't see how much I HATE what they say to me. That they cannot just be happy for me and focus on something, anything besides what my body looks like.

So F*** you people. And your comments. I'm gonna make it through these next few days in spite of you... or maybe even TO spite you. And then I'm going to be nice to pregnant ladies for all of time... and tell them how they will get through this... how beautiful they are... and how much they are going to love their new life.

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