Thursday, February 25, 2010

Update: End of February

What things have changed? Well, let's start with my nose. Let's compare, shall we?

The photo above was taken this past weekend at brunch. I am very healthy, no cold, no sinus pressure, but still, my nose is considerably larger than usual.

Let's use the following picture as comparison:

This photo was taken in July - the month that I got pregnant. Look at the cuteness. Look at that sweet baby. Now take a look at my nose, which is also quite cute and small.

Very interesting.

I could go into other changes, like the way my shirts fit or the way my pants slide down, but that would distract from this comparison. So for now, let's leave it here for everyone to contemplate.

Also, take note in the photo how similar my husband and my features are... big eyes, big cheeks with dimples - I think we have a good idea what this girl will look like!

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Fire Drill

I was taking my usual nap, drooling happily, when the fire alarm in the hallway started going off. Not our personal aparment smoke detector, but the big bell in the hallway that reminds one of a high school fire alarm.

So I put on my shoes, grabbed my coat, my purse, and the binder that we keep in the bedroom with all our important documents. I went and sat in the car until I saw the firemen walk up and down the stairs and then turn off the fire alarm.

Maybe it's because I've personally known two people in the last two years that have lost everything in fires, maybe it's because of the crazy neighbors we have that I would not put it past them to do things like smoke in bed or overload extension cords, whatever it is, I took this alarm seriously.

My question for you is: if you had 30 seconds to decide what to take, what would you take?

Monday, February 22, 2010

A mind of her own

This little girl growing inside me has a mind of her own. Back about 2 weeks ago, I knew she was turned breech by all the kicking she was doing to my bladder, cervix and bowels. Then miraculously she turned.

Now she's back. And with her getting bigger and stronger, it feels vaguely like she could kick her foot right on out of me. I haven't ever used Ben Wa balls for Kegel exercises, but I imagine that if I were wearing them, and one went rogue and headed too far north, that it would be a similar feeling.

Too gross?

I admit that a full day of kicking down there has me sore and cranky. Add in some extra stress at work and my patience is wearing thin. Hopefully that feeling is purely emotional and not an indication of the state of my cervix.

Too gross again, right?

Okay, well I'm going to go play some music to my crotch, while lying in an inverted position and see if I can get this girl to be more like the other 97% of all fetuses. Individuality can wait until after birth, in my humble opinion.

P.S: I know that this blog has become all about my pregnancy. I predict in 6 weeks or so, it will become all about being a new mom. Certain things in life have a way of eclipsing everything else. Do I still care about current events? Sure. Do I still want to help the world's impoverished and underrepresented? Absolutely. But it's not as ... well... present as this transition going on in my body, my marriage and my life. And I just don't have the energy to make it any different.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

The 13th Octopus.

When I first started feeling the baby move, she was like a butterfly. A few weeks later she grew bigger and stronger, like a bird. Then the jabs started and I started to joke that my belly had turned into a human "Jiffy Pop" and I was going to give birth to a bowl of popcorn.

Now my dears, she is definitely an octopus. There are too many limbs to be just a normal baby. There is no way that she can tap me on the bladder, kick me in the ribs and poke out my belly button - simultaneously - without a few extra limbs to help her out. I'm okay with that, I will love her regardless.

Let us now turn our attention to the number 13. Considered unlucky by some, I think it's a lovely number. Let's look at the dates in my life that have happened on the 13th: February 13th is the anniversary of my parent's first date, March 13th is my sister's birthday, and April 13th is a holiday for Sikhism - and it is the date that we have now scheduled for this little girl to be born.

Viva 13!

Just 53 days away.

Friday, February 12, 2010

Snow and Ice.

When I was a child, we lived in rural Michigan. We had a wonderful house built on a hill, perfect for sledding. We fwould start at the top, near the bedrooms and cruise on down past all three levels. It was a winter wonderland: sledding, ice skating on the lake behind us, jousting with icicles that grew over 10 feet long, and more snow sculptures, igloos, and other ice structures than you can imagine.

To this day, one of my favorite feelings is when you come back in from being out in the snow, and you are warm, maybe even drinking a hot beverage, but your legs still feel cold to the touch.

I did have one problem: the steps. If you took the intended pathway up to the front door, then you had to climb about 20 steps. We almost never did that, partially because it was nicer to go through the garage and walk up the two short flights of stairs inside, and partially because the first step on the long flight outside was always icy. So much so, that I had a recurring nightmare in my childhood: I bounded down the stairs, only to make contact with that icy last stair, lose my footing, and then hang suspended in mid-air - waking just before the impact of the fall.

Well, my dears... I feel like my pregnancy has turned all my interactions with this winter into that nightmare. I don't trust my footing. My center of gravity is amiss. My fear of hurting myself or the baby is great.

In short: I am afraid of all that I used to love.

I walk slowly. I don't play. I don't go out if I don't have to. Instead, I look out the window and get morose... like a kid with some kind of illness that keeps them inside. It's very sad.

I keep my spirits up by imagining my cute little girl all stuffed into a padded snowsuit, eating snow and laughing... that is, imagining next year with all of it's potential!

Maybe this weekend I can get my husband to take me to a nice park or something where I can muss some virgin snow without fear of falling down stairs or slipping on ice. I would hate to miss out on 70 inches of snow. I want to play a bit.

And come Monday, it's time for me to go back to work. To face my fears of this crazy weather and it's affect on the city sidewalks.

Maybe I'll buy some new boots with better traction, at least pretend that will make me safer. But secretly, I'm just ready for spring... as much as I never thought I would ever be the person that wished away the beauty of winter.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Things that have changed...

At this point in life and in my pregnancy, there are many things that are changing - and so quickly I can barely keep up.

For example, here is a list of things that I used to love, and was good at, that I now am bad at:
- Walking
- Breathing
- Climbing stairs
- Breathing after climbing stairs
- Being patient and kind

When you combine two or three of these things, like climbing the stairs to the train, and trying to be kind to my fellow passengers, I am prone to anger, grimacing, and lingering bad thoughts. I am slowly becoming like the curmudgeon lady that is always huffing and puffing about something, sometimes muttering things like "of course!" or "ridiculous!" under her breath.

That brings me to a question: if the person you dread seeing the most in life is the curmudgeon lady, yet you see that you are slowing becoming her, does that speed or retard your progression in becoming like her?

Other things that now annoy me, EVERY MORNING:
- People that don't hold the door for me
- People that push pass me to get on the escalator
- The fact that the conductor does not open the heavy train door, nor does he ever offer to help me up or down the stairs. (What does he do? Looks at my pass, but that's about it)
- People staring at me, and if I look up at them, then they want to know 400 things about me and the baby
- People who sit next to me that elbow me in the belly while trying to find things in their enormous bags, which they probably just smacked me with while they sat down
- People that don't move when the nice man in the wheelchair gets on the train - I can only imagine what HIS list looks like, but he has a kind face and maybe not as many hormones as I do... so maybe he has just resigned himself to this routine

And there are 8 more weeks. Sheesh. That seems like a VERY long time to me right now.