Woman Charged with Multiple Counts of Assault Over "Bad Hair Day"
Philadelphia, PA. Staff Writer
A local woman was arrested mid-day after two bizarre assaults on area businessmen. In the first incident, the woman snuck up behind the man and carefully removed a long ponytail with a pair of office scissors. The man chased after her and when he realized the damage was already done, he called police. "I've been growing that ponytail for years," the man told police.
In the second incident, just a few blocks away, the woman stole a local man's hairpiece, causing several abrasions where it was attached with adhesive. The man declined to comment, but witnesses say the local businessman is regularly harassed about the hairpiece and that applause broke out after the woman snatched it. An anonymous coworker offered,"I feel bad for him, he just wants to look nice, and I don't think he understands how awkward he looks with that thing on his head. She shouldn't have done it though."
The woman was taken to an area hospital for psychiatric evaluation after telling police that she was attempting to help alleviate a "trans-galactic bad hair day." The woman also explained that while she remained "...powerless over my own hair, I have been given special powers that allow me to identify and help those in need."
**um, not really, I did see these two men and imagine being arrested for tampering with their hair issues. And I am having a bad hair day... but besides that, this is totally fake.