Monday, January 8, 2007

The dreaded bus...

Back in the day (the day being 1999), I had a bus-driver stalker. The driver would stop the bus next to me as I was walking through the streets of Old Town Alexandria to talk to me. He would also stop his car on his days off and get out and talk to me. (And by talk to me, I mean he talked and I walked away.)

This was of extreme concern to me. I'd had stalker-types before, but never combined with my preferred mode of transportation. I didn't have a car at the time and I lived by myself, so I was particularly concerned about it escalating into something dangerous.

I was sitting at dinner one day during that period and my boyfriend-at-the-time turned to my friend who had joined us and told her what was happening. Now this friend happens to be nearly perfect - a lovely woman: smart, pretty, petite, and kind. The boyfriend-in-question turned to her after telling her the scenario and said "Has this kind of thing ever happened to you?"

Her response: "I don't think I've ever been on a bus."

Well, this was a bit shocking. I know he was thinking that if this could happen to me, then surely it happened even more often to the prettier ones. But both of us were unprepared for her response. It was, however, effective. I bought a car and moved-in with said-boyfriend.

My time on buses has been occasional at-best since then, so I was shocked to be back on one this morning. My car is in the shop and the 2 miles to the train station is too treacherous to walk, so I took the bus that runs from outside my complex straight into the city.

With all due respect: OH, MY GOD, WHAT A FREAK SHOW! It started with a homeless-smelling old man that got on and did fake karate moves between naps and occasionally burst into intelligible song. Then came the transvestite (I think), with the enormous breasts, only partially concealed by a light wind-breaker. Her fake eyelashes and fake nails were a sight to be seen. Finally, an old woman came to sit in the seat right next to me (even though there were plenty of extra ones), and proceeded to lean against me the whole ride. Awww, how sweet, the old woman likes you, right? Well at 6:30am, I'm a bit touch-averse when it comes to strangers, but I was afraid to draw undue attention to myself by moving, so I just let it happen.

And the whole thing took two hours. Two full hours. I walked out of my house at 6:30am and got into the city at 8:30am and not reaching my office until 8:45am.

Gosh, I hope they fix my car today. I don't know if I can take it again tomorrow!

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