Friday, January 19, 2007

Finding the sparkle.

Life sucks. Sometimes it just sucks. Truly.

So much happens to us. We live through so many things: people dying, stress, illness, betrayal - physical and emotional wounds leave us scarred.

I worry sometimes, clearly I worry all the time, but in particular I worry sometimes that I'll eventually come to the point where I lose it. That proverbial straw that broke the camel's back. But I'm starting to believe that's not true.

I've realized that there is always another day, a different encounter, another person, a kindness, a smile, a hug... something that will come along that will change the way everything feels.

When you watch someone else going through something horrible. You watch the pain register on their face, in their body, in the way they hold themselves. I always feel so helpless, like I wish I could take some of their burden from them - help them in some meaningful way.

Time passes, things happen, and you see them gain strength. There's a moment when you see them relax, when you see the light in their eyes return, you can imagine that they feel loved, that they feel comfort.

Even if it takes years, it returns. They find happiness. As my favorite psalm says: Those that sow with tears will reap with songs of joy.

So even as the people around us change, we all have that one person that will always come back to us, our "rock" that helps us find the way through the darkness - we already have that person inside us - an authentic self that can be returned to when we are ready to sparkle again.

No comments: